way back when

under an open tipi skyroof i see a spider’s web but no spider. there are many flies and mosquitoes crashing on me and a little ways away there is a mountain stream with frogs and freshness. i am far from home but this is where my brother lives. there are good times here and much happiness and two kittens. i have yet to figure out exactly where i’m at. there is nudity but i am clothed. there is stonedness but i am straight. there is freedom but i am caged. how to fly i wonder. i will not always be like this. what is fear. i don’t need it. (a kitten is lying across my bent neck.) there is change inside me but my mind is quivering for the old, the known ways. tomorrow can’t be like today. i know this. but right now i am in a tipi somewhere up a mountain in british columbia. i will be different. my brother is different. but we are the same, one blood, connected but separate. until one of us says goodbye.